A lot of whining of snarky-defensive talk goes on online on Valentine’s Day. But one person has seen through all the FOREVERALONE to make good use of it! Roghek, she of the funny and occasionally odd tweets, has brought us a breakthrough concept.
What are all this forever alone tweets? We have enough foreveralone people to make 2 harems, and everyone will have a harem to chose from xP
Clearly this line of thought needs to be operationalized. Who knows how many countless souls wander around looking to be part of a harem? To this end I have drafted the following form for Roghek Inc.’s Staffing Division to best place you, the aspiring harem member, with one of our many partnered firms.
(EDIT: apparently I wasn’t clear/over the top enough in this. For placement in a harem, please respond in exaggerated, character form. This is a joke, not a dating service, people!)
Harem Matching Form 14-A
Thank you for your interest in Roghek Incorporated’s Harem Staffing Service. Please take a few minutes to fill out the form below so that we may compare it to the needs of our various harem romance, harem action, and harem romance-comedy series and find the competitive love polygon best suited to you.
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Name:
Gender:
Type of harem sought: straight yuri yaoi whatever floats your boat
Species (select all that apply) :
Human
Youkai
Half-Youkai
Magic or Ability User (includes Newtypes)
Magical Being
Robot/Cyborg
Nekomimi
Moeblob
Other__________
Archetypes (if female). Circle up to four from the area below:
Tsundere Kuudere
Yandere Osananajimi/Childhood Friend
Loli Senpai (ideal harem lead is younger than you)
Kohai (ideal harem lead is older than you) Oneesan
Too-shy Miko/Shrine Maiden
Imouto (non-blood related) Imouto (blood-related)
Class Rep Office Lady
Maid Aggressive
Goth Overachiever
Slacker Terminal Moe Disease
Fujoshi (social) Fujoshi (slovenly)
Teacher/Officer/Authority Figure Idol
Reverse Trap Other (fill in blank) _____________
Archetypes (if male). Select up to four from the area below:
Tsundere Kuudere
Yandere Osananajimi/Childhood Friend
Shota Senpai (ideal harem lead is younger than you)
Kohai (ideal harem lead is older than you) Angsty
Too-shy Butler
Onii-san/chan (non-blood related) Onii-san/chan (blood-related)
Salaryman Former Bad Guy
Smooth Talker Overachiever
Slacker Strong Silent Type
Schemer/Keikaku Doori Otaku (social)
Otaku (slovenly) Teacher/Officer/Authority Figure
Musician Trap
Other (fill in blank) _____________
Megane?: Y/N
If no, would you be willing to wear glasses anyway?: Y/N
Typical dress/fashion:
Qualifications (relevant licenses, training, education, experience) :
Unique catchphrase, sentence ending, pose or expression:
What would you bring to this harem?
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As for myself… (and fill out what kind of character you’d be in the comments!)
Name: ExecutiveOtaku
Gender: Male
Type of harem sought: straight
Species (select all that apply) : Human (badass normal)
Archetypes (if male). Select up to four from the area below: Kuudere, Kohai (ideal harem lead is older than you), Schemer/Keikaku Doori, Otaku (social)
Megane?: N
If no, would you be willing to wear glasses anyway?: Y
Typical dress/fashion: Mecha pilot suit/flight suit; dressy casual.
Qualifications (relevant licenses, training, education, experience) :
– Class III mecha piloting license.
- Watched Honey and Clover at least five times.
- Macross Lifer Cross – awarded for surviving Macross 7.
- Bachelor’s degree – mecha and shoujo double major.
- Master’s degree – shipping studies.
- Suave mother- shut your mouth (certificate issued by Hana)
- Completed ‘Immortal Colasour’ training in normal badassery and TAISA~ worship.
Unique catchphrase, sentence ending, pose or expression: assorted quotes (and altered quotes) at random moments.
What would you bring to this harem? I feel that I would be an excellent candidate for any realistic romance or mecha sci-fi harem. I believe that I am eminently qualified to take the role of cool-but-supportive character who can quickly warm up to my haremette leader if given the chance. Until that point, I would serve a useful role as a friend/team player/wingman (literally and figuratively) to the other characters depending upon the genre. I would also be enthusiastic at the prospect of being part of a beta couple outside the main GOOD END or HAREM END. Ideally would not end up as the supporting character who dies half way through.